Weighing Heavy

​Who I was to any one person, isn’t who I am now, isn’t who my daughter is meant to be and quite frankly isn’t relevant to who WE all are now and where WE are going. I’ve decided to look back humbly. To see beauty and kindness in everyone. To acknowledge that there were hard times, scary times, exciting times and happy times, and allow the good memories to triumph the bad. To love. To recognize all that I have learned and grown from. I will not be told my past is my daughters future, that happiness is going to be harder to achieve than living negatively and that we are going to struggle in our relationships and journeys because of who I was. Life is our adventure and each path is unique to each person. I see your path as yours and don’t wish to tread in your footsteps or tell you which direction to take. I might walk next to you, or follow behind after some time, but your trail is yours and mine is mine, and our children’s trails are their own. Help each other along the way, not remind one another of where we stumbled or struggled.

*to my keiki, it’s not easy being human but you are loved beyond words and the life I lived before your arrival is not the life you will live. The person I was, no matter how funny or angry or charming is not who you will be. You are beautifully you and I celebrate that everyday.

Fresh Tomatillo Salsa

It all started with the “ugly fruit” stand at the grocery store. Tomatillos, garlic, a lime and a tomato in one bag. Red peppers in another. All of them slightly blighted, softening and calling for a second chance. 
I love this section of the store some days. 

My cupkeiki has some sort of fascination with Tomatillos. I think it’s the leafy  cover over them and that might  just be it. Regadless, she always ask’s to get them, and when we saw them bagged up and discounted, she was excited. 

So I chopped half a red pepper, added all the tomatillos, 6 cloves of the garlic, added half of the limes juice, all of the tomato and pulsed for a few seconds leaving plenty of large pieces. Then I stirred in some chopped cilantro, salt and crushed red pepper. 

It was hard to resist just devouring the whole bowl there at the counter. A lack of chips for dipping stopped me, though the spatula was convincing me to just keep taste testing. I promised the mixture I’d return later with chips- and maybe some chili lime chicken, black beans, sweet potato and yogurt. 

I can’t wait for dinner.


          Today was a day of hearts for my                               kolohe cupkeiki! 

                Breakfast and dinner…

                      and even dessert

           What a hearty day its been. 


            Why not end the evening with

              Something hearty sounding…
                 ” I could live a million lives

             Experience a million adventures

              Meet and love a million people

      But none could ever win my heart

                A million times over like you”


Paneer Love

This afternoon I prepared a Tikka Masala in the slow cooker. Just the tomatoes, onion, garlic and spices-heavy on the garam masala. I added a few sweet potatoes for fun. This evening when I got home, in the time it took the rice to cook I pan fried a small chicken breast cut in strips, and then pan fried paneer cheese. 

I’m just going to say that frying paneer and then eating it is like being in food heaven. It was amazing and added a much needed texture and flavor to the Tikka Masala. I served the Masala over rice then topped with the fried paneer, chicken, avocado and thick yogurt. It was so delicious and exciting! I can see myself going on a paneer binge in the very near future!! 

For the Tikka Masala:

In the slow cooker add:

2- 14.5oz cans fire roasted tomatoes

2 sweet potatoes, diced

6 cloves garlic, chopped

1 onion, diced

4 Tbs Garam Masala

2 tsp. Salt

2 tsp. Ground Ginger

4 tsp. Smoked Paprika

2 tsp. ChilI Powder

Refill 1 tomato can 2-3 times with water, added to the slow cooker

Cook on low 8 hours (or on high for 4 hours). Serve over rice, top with crispy chicken or tofu, pan fried Paneer, avocado and thick yogurt!