Letting it Go.

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The more I read about being vulnerable and daring greatly, the more I’m reminded of this phrase: “let it go”. Why? It’s a phrase I despise, right down to my core. I can’t let anything go. Ever. Someone can say something; I can say something, and if it feels wrong I stew over it for days. The same thing with actions.

I attribute this to vulnerability. To the trust I have in people and that some people, I feel, don’t recognize, share in, understand or respect what being vulnerable is. This may be a huge overstatement and of course I’m still learning about vulnerability but I’m trying to process things and to understand where some of my “insecurities with trust” stem from.

Why bother writing this? The goal is to become more vulnerable, to be vulnerable in all my trusting relationships with my partner, my daughter, my family, my friends and my networks. To do this though, I have to recognize that I have a certain way of holding on to things. To, as Brene Brown writes, allow the gremlins to take over; to compare, to push away and to resent the way people make me feel, how I make people feel and maybe more importantly- how I make myself feel.

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